The tool he held up looked like it came straight from the movie Tron. To some extent it was reassuring and I mistakenly believed that because it looked so advanced, maybe that meant it wouldn’t be painful.
I joked with my tattoo artist and asked if he ever thought he’d have to learn the art of giving tattoos in the medical field. He laughed and began to talk me through the process.
My first tattoo took only a few seconds and the three proceeding ones only a few seconds more. After less than 4 minutes I went from having 0 tattoos to having 4: 3 black dots on the back of my right leg and 1 on king covering my right gluteus maximus muscle.
My new tattoos are for medical purposes. On August 28 I’ll start radiation therapy to hopefully shrink the cancerous mass in my leg.
To ask exactly when I was diagnosed is hard to say. In the coming days and weeks, I’ll share my journey with you.
The cancer in my leg is called malignant peripheral nerve sheath tumor, a type of sarcoma. (Check it out here, if you dare!).
I can imagine that digesting this much information could make one’s thoughts become a bit foggy. Me too! Life events, big and small, have this effect.
There are many things we can choose to do and focus on when things come our way. For me, I’m trying to give this fight all I’ve got. To try and accept help. To own when I’m afraid. To joke about things to make the situation less uncomfortable (not everyone will laugh and that’s okay!). To cry when I feel like crying and not apologize for the tears and vulnerability. To reflect and be self aware so I can admit when I’m wrong and own that too. To do the things that are uncomfortable with my head high because I know I’m brave.
And, friends, you are too!
Standing beside each other takes courage. Life is not predicable. We don’t get a guidebook for our own personal development. But we do have each other and you are not alone and you and your story matter!
I’ve spent so many hours trying to think of ways to help others over the years and also doing things I assume are helpful. What feels really good to me is when someone asks for something they need help with and I can fulfill that. So I have some things I think you can help with, if you’d like.
- I love to write and receive things in the mail. Be it care packages or letters. It always makes my day! So, if this is something you’d like to do, let’s connect.
- I need some fight songs! Let’s hear your best song suggestions to kick some ass and I’ll add them to my Spotify playlist.
- Do you have a relatively easy and healthy recipe you love? Let me know! I love to consider new ideas when meal planning.
- Any New England day trip ideas?
- What about a kick ass place to eat between CT and Boston?
- Better yet, what do you know about the New England coffee scene?
- Dog photos?
- Kiddo photos?
- Nonfiction book recommendations?
- Words of affirmation and encouragement?
- Who wants to come for a visit? I’m serious.
- If you have the means, a go fund me for transportation, lodging, parking, copayments, treatment, etc. is out there
When I had cancer as an infant, my mom never gave up. She always found a way to have the strength to keep going for me. I know I can keep going because she showed me how. And I know that when the going gets tough, I won’t be alone. Thank you for not letting me fight alone.
