September 2023 Sarcoma Journey Update

I have 6 more radiation treatments left, 19/25 down. While I am looking forward to not fashionably sporting a black and white oversized hospital gown and gracefully maneuvering myself onto a metal slate while allowing tiny radiation beams to “pew-pew-pew” (sound effects provided by MM…you know who you are!) the mass strangling my sciatic nerve…I am going to miss the incredible radiation therapy team at UCONN.  When I walk in day after day for my treatment and see them, it feels like family taking care of me.  I’ve found a place where I don’t have to wonder if I will be taken care of by some of the best practitioners, I know and I don’t have to worry or feel anxious.  

I felt like this was what I needed during this part of my journey, and I am glad I trusted myself. I know this is one of the many reasons why I am doing so well. And while I can’t tell you what test results say (haven’t gotten there yet), I can tell you that I feel strong, have good energy, and my skin (where the radiation beams get shot at) seems to be doing remarkably well. Shoot, cancer can’t bring me down.  Ha!

Another reason I am doing so well is because of all of you. Many of you are there every day cheering me on in more ways than one and some, like boyfriend, we’ll call him Goose, is here in the weeds navigating the everyday with me too.  I can and try to show my gratitude for what he and you all have done and are doing, but I know the true reflection is putting up one hell of a fight. So thank you for continuing to help me do that! 

So what’s next?

Radiation therapy is done after October 2. There will be tests and appointments after that then eventually after a few weeks or so I’ll have surgery.  Then more tests. 

One definitive about cancer is there is uncertainty. I know it seems like an oxymoron, but we all face this every day and I believe one purpose in life is to find peace in the uncertainty.  One of you sent me a song for my radiation therapy playlist called I Can Handle It by Steven Furtick…

By the way I have added all your songs that each of you have sent to that playlist and listen to them on my way to and from radiation therapy

…and the song reminds me of what I can be certain of in my life.  And if I focus on those things, I crush all the sh*t that tries to bring me down and I can confidently rock my f*ck cancer socks with pride.

I wear the socks you all got me to radiation therapy too. My radiation team loves them! I don’t know which one of you sent the Wonder Woman socks, but they might be my favorite. 

I’ve thought a great deal about my blog and have wanted to prepare a post for so long, but I haven’t found that post yet.  Instead of continuing to leave you all in the dark, I decided to bring a brief interlude (this update) so everyone knows things are going well. 

I hope my next post isn’t too far behind, but until then, here are some ways you can help support me (or others going through something too): 

• Send something in the mail (outrageous socks, perhaps)!
• Send a fight song or other song recommendations 
• Do you have an easy and (relatively) healthy recipe you like? Send it along!
• Recommendations for New England day trips
• Recommendations for awesome food places in CT or the Boston area
• Send some fun photos of you and your kids and pets
• Do you have any nonfiction book recommendations
• Would you like to visit the area and stop to see me? 
• Send some words of affirmation and encouragement
• Support my favorite Etsy shop:  https://www.etsy.com/shop/DogLoveOriginalBrand.  The owner has an awareness line that includes items for cancer, mental health, and autism awareness.  
• Monetary support via the go fund me my sisters and Goose set up: https://gofund.me/d8dca4c1. 

Day #3

By now, I had radiation therapy down to a routine.  Check in, grab parking validation, walk down the hallway to the locker room, change, wait, and then join my team in the radiation room.  

On day 3, I noticed they weren’t playing any music. And as soon as I noticed, the music started.  

This was no coincidence, my friends.  Nope.  Nuh-uh. Not at all. 

Today was day 3. My favorite number. That I noticed. 

Today, I’d discussed how number 25 (the total number of treatments I was to undergo) was a lucky number. Something else I noticed.

Today I noticed the new sign of encouragement at the receptionist’s desk. 

Today, I noticed that I missed the music.  

And when the music did begin to play, it was my favorite song: Hotel California by the Eagles.  

What is more, the song began as soon as the treatment started, and the technicians left the room, and ended exactly when they returned. 

So, I took all the good energy, prayers, signs from God, and more and soaked it all in.  

And, just like I repeat to myself as the Elekta radiation therapy machine shoots killer radiation beams into my body, I will say the following to any bad energy or bad vibes or cancer cells: 

Die motherfluffers, die! Kill, kill, kill! Burn in h$ll. Don’t come back.  You are not welcome here and I don’t want you.  Stay away from me.  Get out.  I do not accept you! Die, die, die. 

You all may be just as shocked, now, reading those words as I was when these thoughts rolled into my head on my first day of radiation.  It was like a storm cloud rolling in to declare that it was going to send the thunder, the rain, and the lightning down with fury.  And there was nothing getting in its way.  (Cue the Imagine Dragons Thunder Song). 

That fury started burning inside me from day #1 and now when I have radiation therapy, my chorus and I send down the same tenacious lyrics to all the cancer cells: die, die, die…  

This girl does not Sit Still and Look Pretty (thank you, Daya!).  She picks up a sword, wrangles a horse, and gallops into the fight! 

So cheers to the mighty force keeping me going, I am beyond grateful and I know you give me the strength I need for the fight. 

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Before I go, I know many of you ask me how you can help.  I do have some ideas.  

• Be my pen pal! If you don’t have my address, let me know. 
• If you have the means, you can help support me financially: https://gofund.me/d8dca4c1 (those who have donated have helped me pay for co-pays, gas, medical supplies, prescriptions, food while traveling, etc. and in the future these funds will help pay for lodging for myself and my family while we are staying near my treatment facility post-surgery)

• I have a playlist that I listen to on my way to radiation therapy, please send me song suggestions
• Words of encouragement, jokes, photos of your babies and furbabies…all bring me joy, put a smile on my face and can make me laugh! Please share with me!
• If you live close buy, and want to grab a meal, I’m all about that!
• Socks! So I got some socks in a care package.  They are outrageous socks.  But I came up with the idea to try and wear a new pair to every treatment.  I forgot a pair of socks one time so now I am down to only 2 new pairs to wear.  So send me some crazy, outrageous socks! I’ll wear them to therapy! Haha.  My team of radiation therapy technicians and I now look forward to them and we laugh together!
• My favorite etsy shop (DogLoveOriginalBrand), run by a family member, has a cancer awareness line.  She also contributes to fighting cancer.  Please check her out and consider supporting her shop!