When I was applying to graduate school, I struggled to write
my statement of purpose. I remember
having a heated discussion with a friend about my goals and how far I thought I
could go. I told her that I was aiming
for the moon, but if I failed (which I had convinced myself at the time that I
would) I’d land among the stars and that was okay with me. I liked and still love the stars. She pressed me to look beyond those stars and
the moon…Are there not many galaxies and an entire universe beyond the stars?
When I was a little girl my sisters and I were given the
privilege of decorating our own rooms.
And by decorate I mean choose everything from the furniture to the color
on the wall to the wallpaper. Man, what
were our parents thinking? Anyhow, my theme
was: Christmas. This was not your
typical Christmas though…nope, not at all!
Think lime green paint, forest green antique desk, dark green
cross-stitched traditional Christmas images stretched over circular wooden
frames and hung on the wall, and other tacky green and Christmas themed things.
Can I guess what you’re thinking? Answer: someone threw up pea soup all over my
bedroom, right? I don’t blame you. I wish I could erase that embarrassing aspect
of my childhood personality. No wonder
why I am not a huge fan of the color green now, I literally made myself sick of
it. (Sorry favorite color green people,
you know I still love you!).
Okay, moving on…then, there was my little sister’s
room. She chose the color blue with Winnie
the Pooh décor…I think? And my twin
sister: pink and unicorns! (Funny how
she listened to rap/hip-hop music and started watching scary movies while she
inhabited that room…cause that totally makes sense!). I also remember she had this poster about
shooting for the moon and landing among the stars. I will never forget that poster.
It’s interesting what we remember and carry with us
throughout our lives. I would venture to
say that my sister’s poster became a pretty important piece in shaping what I
thought and think I am capable of in this life.
Strangely, as much as the poster empowered me to achieve, it’s also been
a source of holding me back. I think a
lyric in this song by Eminem called Not
Afraid that states, “I’d shoot for the moon, but I’m too busy gazing at
stars” sums up my problem perfectly.
I did finish my personal statement for graduate school. My friend convinced me to give it more than
my best shot; She wouldn’t let me be too
busy gazing at stars to not shoot for something higher. There were words in that paper that she
believed for me that I didn’t yet believe for myself, but I do now and I laugh
at myself for being of such little faith.
I also made it past the interview phase (with the help of a dear mentor
who knew better than I did that I had it in me) and landed a spot in the
program. After 3 difficult years I
earned my Master’s Degree in Higher Education and know at the core of me that I
belong in the higher education environment supporting students on their way to
achieving their dreams.
So over the 4th of July I can be found at a lake
enjoying time with my family. This past
4th of July we were all out on the deck looking up at the
stars. This time was special, though,
you could see the Milky Way galaxy. I
didn’t notice what I was seeing until someone pointed it out. And I wouldn’t have known it was even there
because I was so busy looking at what I KNEW was there.
There’s another song I really love right now, “Where the Light Shines Through” by
Switchfoot. During the tough times, the
dark times, where the pain was and is…that’s where the stars, galaxy, our
infinity can shine the brightest.
When I was in college I met a remarkable friend, the kind of
friend talked about in the verse Psalm 27:17: As iron sharpens iron, so one man
sharpens another. One night she and I
made hot chocolate and snuck onto a large field right on the edge of a cliff
overlooking the ocean to watch a meteor shower.
It was cold, so we only made it to 99 shooting stars before calling it
quits and heading back to her warm college dorm room. She is still a friend I treasure greatly and
know I will always have in my life. She
challenge(d/s) me and support(ed/s) me in ways that have helped me to turn my
darkest skies into light, just like those shooting stars.
I like keeping folks around me who have provoked me to shift
my gaze and see beyond what I know is there.
I wouldn’t have made it to where I thought I was going and where I have
actually gone without them. Please make
sure you surround yourself with people who believe in you and encourage you and
who don’t let you be too busy gazing at stars that you miss the moon and the
Milky Way and the light in the dark through shooting stars. Who tell you to get up off the bench because
you belong on the field, even if you don’t believe what they are saying about
you…yet. Who challenge the beliefs that
are limiting your view to just the stars you see in the moment.
I’ve only ever been able to bear the darkness and experience
the miraculous limitlessness of the universe with someone else by my side. I know I never, ever have to be alone, but I
also know I have to be willing to put myself out there too. So set your eyes, grab a daring partner, and
prepare for a different view!
For a little extra umph to this entry, I’m gonna leave you
all with a few lines from one of my favorite movies (major brownie points to
you if you know what movie this is from!):
Young
William Thatcher: Some day, I’ll be a knight!
Man in stocks: A Thatcher’s
son? A knight? You might as well try to change the stars!
Young William Thatcher: Can it be
done, father? Can a man change the
stars?
John Thatcher: Yes William. If he believes enough, a man can do anything.
