Grief can be a beautiful
thing, if we let it. It’s like a
sunflower. Deprive it of what it needs
and it wilts. Expose it to the necessary
elements needed for growth and life and it thrives.
Grief begs to be given
the stage. Cry with me it says. Yell with me and throw things it
insists. Accept and move on it
must. It’s a rollercoaster sometimes and
at others calm as the calmest sea. Sometimes
there’s no telling when the emotions will hit you, but if you’re to live you
must EMBRACE it.
I think many of us are
afraid of grief and unsure of how to help someone through it. So, I’d like to try and help us all just a
little. Please remember that what we put into creating life might be ugly and
the process might be messy and filled with mistakes, but like the sunflower it
still blooms to a beautiful and vibrant source of life and happiness.
I don’t expect anyone to
know what to say. I in fact don’t know
what to say, not even to my sisters sometimes.
But, it’s okay to tell jokes and be yourself and not walk on
eggshells. I know sometimes we can’t
help it because we just don’t know what to do, so we wind up doing the awkward
turtle moves. Don’t blame me if I laugh
at you! But also know that it is because
I love you so deeply and cherish your efforts to care for me. There is no right or wrong way to act around
me. I know you care and that is all that
matters to me. It’s also okay, for me,
if you ask me questions. I’ll talk your
ear off (as some of you may know). It
helps to talk about it for me. I might
cry or laugh when it doesn’t make sense, but right now very little “makes
sense.” I think silence is okay
too. We get so busy being busy and
forget that sitting in silence with a loved one can actually bring peace. Sometimes I just need someone there.
I might not have shown
great affection towards you or even opened my arms when I came or left last
time I saw you, but I want a hug. Don’t
let me come or go without giving me your best bear hug.
My favorite activities
are still my favorite activities: drinking coffee, climbing, hiking. And I like to try new things too. Let’s do them together!
You actually don’t have
to be around me to support me. Happy
thoughts, good vibes, and for those of you who have a relationship with Christ,
prayer, are awesome. Prayer I know has
been carrying my family and I through this difficult time. I know the Lord’s got it covered even if I
don’t think it’s fair. What really is
fair, anyhow?
If you’re Facebook
friends with my sister, Ashley, you probably remember a status update she made
about how you can help my sisters and I through this difficult time. She talked about loving those you love with
all your heart, living with no regrets, and forgiving others. Most important to me is that you give life
your best shot. Don’t let the things of
this world rain on your parade. Life is
difficult and no one really gets off easily.
We all have our own struggles and each person experiences things in a
unique way. We have a lot to teach each
other. Please don’t hold back your
love. And when you might think you’re
going to lose it or when you do lose it, grab hold of someone’s hand (and I
hope God’s too) and ask if they can help you get back on your feet.
And don’t be afraid to
just do a check in. I believe the
communication I’ve received since my Mom passed on has been in God’s perfect
timing. The check-ins, I love you texts,
hugs, etc. have brought joy and peace to my heart.
Grief, grieving, death,
and dying are words that we associate with things that might make us sick to
our stomach. But I hope we can all see
the beauty, strength, growth, and love that it can ignite in us if we give into
it. It is not easy, and I think it is
impossible to walk it alone. But know
that I am here with you, and I hope you’re here with me too.
